Throughout my life during those few times where I actually gave thought to whether or not there was a God or not, one of the questions which would always arise was “Who is right?” Maybe a better question would be “Who’s God is right?” or even “If there is a God, how can He…(fill in the blank)” For example, the receiver who makes the game winning catch for a touchdown will more than likely say “God was with me today” so does that mean He was against someone else? How does He decide who side to be on?
A more relevant question to today could be if Muslim’s believe they are right and Christians believe they are right, who is? Isn’t Allah the Muslim God? According to the Bible there is only one God so whose is it, the Christian God or the Muslim God? And if there truly is only one God then which is right?
As I have mentioned, I am a Catholic and have been recently been examining my faith. I admit it has been a long time since I have done this and due to some recent events, I have begun looking at it, let’s say in a whole new light. As part of this process I have begun to wonder why I drifted away from the Church and religion in general. I think some of it has been due to questions such as this. If God truly does love everyone, then why do people kill each other, would God let this happen if he loved the victim? Would he let the killer kill another if he truly loved the killer?
I think when I first began to question God and whether or not there was one was when I was in the last year of High School and then into my college years. It had nothing to do with the schools themselves but rather a certain incident, or procession of incidents which occurred during this time.
My sister, who is two years older than I was a less than stellar role model for me when she was in High School. She did many things which certainly didn’t make either myself or my family proud. These were the early seventies, and let’s just say the motto “Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll” certainly applied to her life. Then one day I remember coming home from college, I was a commuter student, I believe it was my freshman year and she was reading the Bible. She began to go to Bible groups and church and became what I referred to as “Holy Roller”.
|Order this from Amazon|
Now you may ask, “What is wrong with this? Obviously she turned her life around and had turned her life around and found God and Jesus didn’t she?” And truthfully we all thought that at first, although in hindsight, I did think it was pretty strange as the change was very, very dramatic. But then one day she snapped. She began swearing and attacking my father, it was not a pretty scene. The Police needed to be called and she was taken away. I recall my father, who I only remember crying one time after this, with tears in his eyes, saying it was the hardest thing he ever did, seeing his daughter taken away in a straight jacket. She was placed in the State Hospital, a true hell hole of a place then, and I imagine still today although most of it has been closed. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
For the next few years she was in and out of psychiatric care, she would become violent, she would hear voices, all normal symptoms of her disease, and needless to say it was hard on all of us but mostly for my parents and then my third sister, the one between me and this one, who to this day blames herself for all of this. But even with all this, although I wondered how God could let this happen, after all she believed in Him, worshipped Him and attempted to spread His word all the time so how could He do this. No what began to change my views was the day my father, at the end of his rope went to the church, the same church he belonged to and the one we all belonged to all our lives, and asked the pastor for help. He was told there was nothing he could do.
For years we were told that the church is always there for you. We had been told you could go there at anytime for anything and you would always find help and guidance. My father had none, in fact he was rather rudely treated. Needless to say for him, I think it was a turning point. And from that point on I think it was somewhat for me as well.
How can you turn away someone who is asking for your help? When you have exhausted all other options, and all your past teachings point you to the place which should help you the most can you not see why this would happen? If God loves us all why did he let this happen to my sister, to my parents? Was God right?