Running into an old friend

Today on my way into the Stop & Shop I heard a voice calling my name. I thought it was my time, but nope, it wasn't. It was a friend of mine from California who I haven't seen in over a year. It's funny how when you aren't expecting to see someone someplace how you don't recognize them. I thought his wife looked familiar but h actually had to tell me his name. Embarrassing as hell, but I been embarrassed by worse things. Come to think of it, I haven't been embarrassed by some even worse things that I have been embarrassed by.

Sparing you the details of the conversation, one thing I said to him was "How long are you home for?" He hasn't lived here for at least twenty years, yet I still referred to this as home. I still call the town i grew up in home even though I moved out in 1892 or so, although in my case I only live in the next town.

How long do we think of where we grow up as home? More importantly why? Is it becasue this was the place we might have felt the safest? Where we had protection from the outside world becasue of our parents? Is it becasue we didn't have the worries we have now, a time we weren't responsible for others? Now, I know this isn't true for everyone, but at least for me I was protected and safe.

There comes a time when we change from the protected to the protector, and sometimes that becomes quite a burden to us. Maybe that's why we still think of where we grew up as home. Or maybe not. Anyway, as always happens when I see an old friend, I tend to go back to the "good old days" which may not have been all that good but they certainly were better or at least easier.

So the question becomes can we make things better? We can't change things which have happened but we can change the future since it hasn't happened yet. We can look back and remember how we felt when we were safe and secure, with out parents watching over us, and we can strive to do the same for ourselves. How? When we were kids, we only had to worry about things we could control. Granted, that wasn't much, but there were many things which weren't in our control, at least for me. Things like bedtime, whether or not I should do my homework and whether or not I was going to go to church.

Now as an adult, there are still things I can't control, things I can't do, so why let these things upset or worry me.  I can't control other people,I can't control whether or not it rains and I can't cut the grass, so I don't worry about it. I can only control myself. I do what I can. I do what I can to make things better for me and my loved ones and myself, and okay, the dog and the cats. But I can't change how my boss runs his business for example, or how my son or daughter live their lives.

Is it frustrating at time? Only until you realize you only do what you can do for yourself. If others listen to you or follow your example, it is up to them, not you. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.