Been Around Awhile

So as I drove behind the dirty windshield today, and later as I sat behind the dirty beer glass I was thinking about this blog. I have been writing this off and on over three years now. It struck me how much has changed in my life since I began it. When I began it, I was a lonely, bitter man who just went through the motions of living,. Now, I look at my life and it is a great life I live. Every once in awhile I have a bad day, like today, when I get extra stressed and the FM acts up on me and I start to thinking about things and I end up drinking a bit, but then I come home and realize how lucky I am. Something about the dog jumping all over me and licking me which makes me realize that.

I went into my old favorite watering hole tonight, which I probably shouldn't have because of the mood I was in, but I did anyway. The best thing about knowing you have a problem is knowing you have a problem. Basically that means you know why you are drinking and you set your limit, for me it's three beers, and I feel bad for myself, or I think of the past, then I pay the tab and go home, and write in my blog, and feel better.

The difference now is I know the love of my life will be home soon and all will be right with the world. But until then, here I go.

On my Facebook page one of my "friends" is my cousins daughter. Lately she has been posting things which lead me to believe she is down about something. And I know it is none of my business but it got to me thinking about my father, who as anyone who has followed this blog knows, I have written about alot. The reason she got me to thinking about my Dad was something her father said to me not to long ago. He came over here, for a reason I can't remember and he said "I remember coming in here when Uncle Paul was alive and I could always talk to him about anything. we would talk for hours and hours and I could tell him anything and he would always have good advice for me. I learned a lot from your Dad."

I remember my cousin coming over here and talking with my Dad well into the wee hours of the morning. That was how my Dad was, the door was always open to anyone. If you had a problem and needed someone to talk to, Uncle Paul was here, with an open ear and mind.  He would always tell you what he thought and you may not like it, but he was usually right. I never knew where he got all this wisdom, and of course when I was younger, I thought he was full of shit, but now, I know he was probably the smartest person in the world. If I could only be half the man he was, I would be the luckiest man in the world.  And I know sometimes it bothered him, he would tell me years later that it was a shame my cousin couldn't talk to his father, but he also understood why. If nothing else, my Dad knew people.

Ok, enough of that. I was also thinking about some of the things I've learned since I began this blog. One of them was "Never write in your blog when you have been drinking. You may think the post is good but you be wrong." Oh well, never stopped me before, why should it now? I also thought it used to take me a whole lot of drinking to get me buzzed, it doesn't anymore, so I guess that's a good thing.

In conclusion, as I fade off to sleep, if I learned one thing from my Dad it was to always keep an open mind and if you show respect to people, they will always respect you, even when you disagree.

Alright, I'm sure I learned a whole bunch more, but when you get that buzz going at my age you tend to forget things